The other day I was watching ESPN, enjoying a relaxing Yuengling Lager (by far the best American beer), and at the end of Sportscenter I observed a little message from the network. “Follow us on Twitter! Twitter.com/sportscenter .” Naturally, I was intrigued. I’ve heard a few people mention Twitter, and after ESPN, I noticed almost every news station and TV show had some sort of, “Follow us on Twitter!!!111oneone” message. Since I believe college students should always be on the cutting edge of awesome internet movements, I was clearly concerned that I myself didn’t have any knowledge of twitter. I had one big question:
So, WTF is Twitter?
The answer, from my painstaking online research is as follows:
“Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?”
I confess, I am not very impressed as Twitter strikes me to be nothing more than a glorified Facebook status update. Also, I am not totally convinced that people particularly care about what I am doing every minute of every day. But before I completely discount twitter, tweeting, and tweets of all kinds, I wanted to find out if I will be severely uncool for not having an account. Case and point, this attractive woman in the picture to the right loves twitter; is she spot on? That’s where you, my faithful readers, come in.
Does Twitter Suck?
Essentially, I would like all my readers (and anyone else) to participate in a “Does Twitter Suck” poll! I plan on finally determining if twitter is for real, or nothing more than a Jon and Kate Plus 8 Relationship. In order to participate you need only send an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org with answers to these three questions:
1. Do you have a Twitter account?
2. Does Twitter Suck? Why or Why Not? (most amusing answer wins $100!)
3. Are you a student or a working professional?
Since college students are perpetually broke and the economy is a train wreck, the person who submits the most creative/clever answer for why twitter does or does not suck will have their response immortalized in the “Does Twitter Suck” poll results, in addition to receiving $100 USD for being witty and clever! I will be accepting submissions from now until July 31st. On August 1st, I plan on making a post with the definitive results. Do college students use twitter? Do they think it sucks? Do working professionals use twitter? Do they find it to be useful, or at least find it to not suck? Should I be using twitter? Am I cool enough to use twitter? Is twitter cool because slightly famous people use it, or are slightly famous people cool because they use Twitter?
These and many other pressing twitter-related questions should be answered in a mere month’s time. Depending on the results, I will or will not be creating and using a twitter account. If twitter does turn out to suck, I cannot in good conscience be a part of the community, since I made a resolution to avoid all things that suck whenever possible. Until that time, however, please feel free to e-mail away! Remember, the more responses I receive, the more accurate the results will be. Of course, only one ballot per e-mail address will be counted; I certainly wouldn’t want to be known as a guy who messed up the polling process.
Again, send answers to email@example.com!
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